Thursday, May 14, 2009


One thing I've been learning in the past couple months is Purpose. I believe each and everyone was made with a purpose in mind. We weren't assigned one at birth, at our sweet sixteen or the day we became an adult. I believe God was sitting in heaven and knew something needed to be done, so he thought :

"i'm going to make a person and she shall be called Jacquelyn. I need her to do (insert purpose here), so I will give her to John and Anne Penner to be her parents, and she'll need two older brothers to form her into what I need her to be, they will be the perfect family to mold her into what I need her to be. Satan will throw obsticales at her course. He will do horrible things to her, but what he doesn't know is that those things will make her stronger for my task. He will take something from her at a young age, but she will sail higher BECAUSE of that. He will tell her she's dumb, but one day she'll realize he was lying and that will make her study harder just to prove him wrong. He will tell her she's fat and ugly, but she will know that she was fearfully and wonderfully made, so she'll tell Satan to shove it, and stand up straighter and smile brighter which will in turn make her even more beautiful than before. Then he'll make her feel like she's alone in this big world, but she'll realize very quickly that I will never leave her or forsake her, and this will draw her closer to me and farther from him. When she's 20 I'm going to start tugging at her heart and put MY obstacles in her path. This will lead her to awesome people and she'll remember everything her parents taught her about me when she was little. She'll accept my love and live full fledged for me. Satan will still try to get her away from me, but she knows I'm her dad and I hold her future. She'll begin to live in a way to fulfill the reason i sent her to earth, she'll accept my task and work diligently at it with a happy and joyful heart.  She will FINALLY know how much i planned her and how much I love her and how much I want her to succeed. She will finally realize to me, there will never be a more beautiful you." 

I believe that's how I got here. I believe I have a purpose. I believe that fulfilling my purpose will be my greatest task. I believe I am beautiful and highly favored. Listen to this song and these lyrics. I believe there will never be a more beautiful me. I'm fearfully and wonderfully made!

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl 

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The tears start!

Sarah is picking up on the fact that I am leaving. This week, she keeps coming up to me and asking me to snuggle her for just a little while. I pick her up, put her cheek to mine, and we rock back and forth for a good 15 minutes at a time. During this time, I wipe my tears without her seeing, because I won't have much more time to snuggle with her. and boy will I miss that. Aimee and I have been having crazy hearts to heart. I feel so loved by this family, it's so hard to move on. In a way i wish I wasn't so close to them because it'd be easier to leave. But as aimee made me pinky swear her yesterday, we WILL still see eachother so I'm going to be thankful for that!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Earls Girl???

If you would have asked me three months ago what I'd be doing now... I'd probably have told you "working for the Nichols, spending my summer weekends at the beach, hanging out with my friends, shopping!" But in the past 6 weeks my life has took a totally different path. It's amazing how powerful a 'god i'm servant, bring change, and put me on your path instead of mine' kind of prayer can actually be. 

1. I got accepted to Vanguard for fall.
2. I'll be moving into sherwood park at the end of the month with a lady from my church. She's single, retired, and so generous! It's a 3 bedroom condo in Village on the Lake(a subdivision just off Wye Road). It's walking distance to the bus stop, and all the necessities. 
3. I decided I'd apply at Earls, since it's so close(again walking distance!) and my friend worked there through university and made AWESOME tips. They offered me almost full -time hours for the summer, so now I'm an Earls Girl! I think this job will be a good fit, because I'll be able to work there through the school year aswell, which will be great! It'll be interesting being in that kind of environment, after working out of my home for the past 4 years! I'm really looking forward to that change though!
4. My dad is going to come and pick up my car the first weekend of June. Good Bye Silver Bullet! That's okay, m ost college students don't have a car anyways, right??? Right. Well at least that's what I'll keep telling myself! 

So as you can see, nothing is the same as it was even 6 weeks ago. I'm so excited, and ready for change! I'm going to continue walking through each door that opens up, because the Lord is bringing in the harvest right now! PTL!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Blessed Be Your Name

I was driving last week and the song Blessed be your name by tree63 came on. I've heard this song countless times through my childhood/teen years/adult life. However for some reason it struck me as i'd never heard it before. Maybe It's because i've got tons i'm dealing with right now, maybe it's because I actually stopped and listened to the words, either way This song is touching me this week, and I wanted you all to listen to it!

I love that in the midst of heartache, in the midst of trouble, in the midst of a storm we can still say Lord Blessed be your name! I am so thankful for a saviour, I am so thankful that theres so much more than just this. I am so excited to watch god's plan in my life unflod one piece at a time. I had supper with Florence Mills on monday night, and I will be living with her in sherwood park, 2 blocks from the bus station. I don't believe in co-incidents, I believe god set up a meeting between the two of us, beause it's juts too perfect for that to not be the case. I'm learning htis year to not worry. God's in control, I am not. Why shoud I worry when he's taking care of each piece along the way. 

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

grace is enough

This truly is turning out to be an Awesome April. 
I've been accepted into school, my dad is buying my car off of me, I've found a place to live for fall... all the pieces I've needed to fall into place are falling into place! This month I chose to accept any blessings the Lord chooses to pour down on me, and boy the flood gates are open! Walking in grace in love is really the only way to walk if you ask me. 
I'm so happy and thankful for the way my life is turing out. I know I am god's beloved and since ackonwledging it and walking in that way, nothing can get me down, because I know that resting at the feet of the lord and waiting for him to take care of all the pieces is so less stressful and so full of peace. Why have I been so worried about things in the past when really, I have no control over any of it anyways. It doesn't matter what satan will throw my way, I am the Lord's beloved, my daddy is stronger than him, and he will continue to defeat him in each situation. Do I deserve that? No. And that's why they call it grace!
I'm so in awe at how my whole life has been turned upside down in the past 6 weeks, and frankly... i love it. I'm so excited to see what's next for me! And I'm so happy to wait upon his guidance!

Monday, April 6, 2009

15 degrees celcius

My title is worth a post alone. +15 degrees!!! Winter is over!! PTL!! I just went for a run down the river, up the glenora hill to the ledge, and back home... okay i lied i walked up and down the hills, but i did run the rest of it... okay fine it was more like a jog... but the point is that i was able to go outside and exercise without my lungs screaming at me. Also.. note to self: when the weather is above 10 you don't need to wear a jogging shirt, long sleeved tshirt, a zip hoodie, light jacket and vest. I only made it half way down the street and had to start stripping down.

I decided I'm going to be a runner again. When i lived in Engalnd, I ran from my house in Ashby de la Launde, all the way to Digby almost every other day. I think the only person who reads this that would actually know those places would be Pete... for the rest of you... it was about 11k round trip. It would take me around an hour, and that was straight running with no stopping, with a big hill i'd have to run up and down. Coincidently I also had the best legs of my life at that point. Oh how i miss those legs and look forward to seeing them again this summer!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Awesome April

I am having an Awesome April. This is not by coincidence but by choice. I made a choice to walk in my Fathers love and favor and to recieve whatever he wants to pour out on me. I am making a choice to walk through each door he opens. I am making a choice to not only ask for the things I need to happen in my life, but believe that The Lord will give. I am making a choice to walk in faith knowing my God will always provide. I am making a choice to trust no matter what, and let him be in total control. I am making a choice to not let it be about my choices, but his. I believe I am going to have an Awesome April, and I hope yours will be awesome too!